


The Evolution of Touch

by loracarol



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Caring!Brothers, Gen, Robot PTSD, Sad!Spine, Young Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 09:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loracarol/pseuds/loracarol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote a thing for tumblr, and I wanted to post it here so I could clean up some of the typos, and archive it somewhere.<br/>So, yeah.<br/>Brotherly fluff. For tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As I posted this anonymously on tumblr, I'd like to respectfully request that I stay anonymous on tumblr. 
> 
> Thank you in advance. <3
> 
>  **Edit:** I changed up the formatting a bit, mostly for aesthetic preferences, but that's the only reason it's in chapters- it's the same story still, just broken up differently. :)

While Rabbit was the only robot he had built, Colonel Peter Walter I made sure to prevent it from learning about things like hugs. Not out of a sense of malice, but he was merely flesh and blood while Rabbit was a being made of metal- and he was  _young_.

He hadn’t really thought about that before. Hadn’t thought about how his robots would learn, learn to mimic humans, how to sing, how to play instruments, none of that, and as such, he hadn’t really planned how to teach his robots, especially how to teach them things like “pressure” when touching other things, and how much pressure a human being could take without getting hurt.

If only he was built out of something stronger, something that would not break under the pressure of copper limbs. He was planning on building other robots, of course, but he had thought that he’d have one up and running to be his assistant, and to help teach the other robots as they were created. 

Instead, he sighed, and put aside his plans for a robot with a brass/gold based chassis, and picking up plans for a robot with a steel one. Steel would hold up, no matter what his copper creation did. 

He hoped.

—

By the time the steel robot was finished, his copper robot had a name; Rabbit, after his first word, and Peter Walter I had started teaching him the beginnings of etiquette, including the various types of ways that human beings touched each other.

He hadn’t been allowed to actually practice of what Peter Walter I was teaching him, however, a fact that he took with only a minimal amount of fussing, especially after Peter Walter I had given him an apple tree branch, and told him to moderate his strength. The fact that he had broken it, and that human bones were a lot more fragile, had scared the copper ‘bot away from practicing hugs or handshakes on any unwitting human visitor. 

But the Colonel (or “Pappy” as Rabbit had taken to calling him) had promised that he’d be allowed to hug his newest brother; that he’d be strong enough to take it, so Rabbit waited on his brother’s awakening with bated breath. 

The silver robot’s photoreceptor’s opened, and black oil dripped from his lips as he stared at lab he had awoken in. 

"I’m R-r-rabbit!" A copper robot said, wiping away the black oil with jerky motions "and I’m y-y-your big brother- Pappy said so!" 

The silver robot didn’t reply, continuing to look around in confusion, before he pursed his lips and said hesitantly “R-r-rabbit?” 

"No! R-r-rabbit!" Rabbit said, huffing a cloud of steam angrily. 

"R-r-rabbit" the silver bot said, again. "Brother. R-r-rabbit." 

Thankful that the basic coding he had created for his silver bot was working, and he was already forming connections between what was being said, and reality, Peter Walter I stepped in before Rabbit could get angry saying clearly ”Rabbit”. 

"Rab-it" the silver robot said. 

"Good! And you’re. Hm. I hadn’t even thought of a name for you yet. How about "The Spine" for your spinal column? You are the Spine." He said that while point at the silver robot. 

"The Spine" the Spine said slowly, pointing at his chassis. "Self." Pointing at Rabbit he added "Rabbit. Brother.", then he pointed at Peter Walter I and waited.

"Pappy!" Rabbit said with a grin, then bouncing on his feet, he lunged forward, and threw his arms around the Spine. "This is a h-hug. Welcome to the family!" 

The Spine stood there, unmoving, and Rabbit frowned, before grabbing the Spine’s hands, and manually moving the Spine into position. “A hug.”

"Hug" the Spine replied dutifully.

"Come on my boys" ‘Pappy’ said, "Rabbit, I need you help me teach your brother, okay?"

Rabbit nodded, pulling out of the hug. He refused to let go of the Spine’s hand, however, holding onto it even as he started pulling the surprised Spine behind him, “come on the Spine! I’ll make sure to teach you the  _cool_ stuff!” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The Spine was a hard worker, taking the alphabet protocols that Peter Walter I had installed (for as much as he loved his robots, Peter didn’t think he would have had the patience to teach them to read on top of everything else) and insisting on reading everything he could to help himself learn. Rabbit helped too, pointing things out, and naming them, and to Peter’s delight, he was even using the proper names for things, usually adding a “but I call it this” at the end, but even still-! The Spine would dutifully repeat what Rabbit called a thing, as well as the proper word, and Peter  _knew_ that the Spine knew what the things were- quizzes at the end of the day revealed that the Spine’s vocabulary was increasing steadily, but something was troubling Peter.

The Spine didn’t _talk_. He’d repeat the words, and he knew their meanings, but he never spoke of his own free will. Peter had tried asking him, but the Spine had just stared at him, head cocked in confusion.

With a sigh, Peter hoped that that was just the Spine’s way of asserting his own personality; after all, Rabbit talked. Rabbit talked a  _lot._  Maybe the Spine wasn’t talking because he didn’t want to be the exact same as his brother? Shaking his head he, leaned in a door frame, and watched the two robots. Rabbit was trying to teach the Spine how to color, and as they both lay on the hardwood floor with paper and pencils strewn around then, Peter noticed something odd. 

Rabbit was close to the Spine, really close, with one hand around the Spine’s shoulder, and though balancing in that position must not have been truly comfortable, he didn’t seem to mind, instead getting grumpy whenever the Spine shifted, and Rabbit had to rearrange himself in order to stay close to his brother. 

Keeping an eye on them, he noticed that, even after the ‘bots were done coloring, and were getting up to go outside, Rabbit stayed close to his brother, hugging him from the side as they walked. Frowning, for her could not see any reason for said action- the Spine did not have any trouble with balance that he know of, Peter called to his eldest.

"Rabbit!" He said, going up to his boys. "What are you doing?"

"Hugging him" Rabbit said, with a grin. "Y-you said that’s what p-p-people do when they l-love each other. It’s hard to d-do when walking, though…" 

"Well you’re not suppose to do it while you’re walking!" Peter said, though he was touched.

"R-r-really? But the Spine doesn’t m-mind it!" Rabbit said with a small frown.

"Did he say that?" Peter asked, glancing at the silver ‘bot.

"Well, no, but he doesn’t tell me to stop" Rabbit admitted. 

"He also doesn’t really say anything" Peter said, but with a gentle smile so that Rabbit knew he wasn’t in trouble. "How  _do_ you feel about it?” He asked, directing the question at the Spine, hoping to get him to speak. 

"…" The Spine said, before looking at he ground shyly. "Frustrated. Little." He said. "Not angry."

"And why do you feel that way?" Peter said with glee at the Spine actually talking about himself.

"Walking hard."

"Well why didn’t y-you say anything?" Rabbit asked, indignantly, though still not actually letting go of the taller robot.    

"Rabbit liked it." The Spine said with a jerky shrug. "It’s love. Rabbit happy about love. Did have an idea. But. Couldn’t say it right."

Almost skipping with glee at his newest robot stringing together complex concepts, Peter said with a wider grin “explain it to me, I’ll see if I can help!” 

"Saw it in a book. Self would carry Rabbit. On back. Self strong enough." 

"I do know what you’re talking about! A piggy-back ride! Rabbit, why don’t you give it a try?" 

Rabbit looked at the both of them like they were crazy. “Like a h-h-horse? The Spine’s not a horse, he’s a r-r-robut. And w-w-why are we talking about p-p-pigs?” 

"I know he’s not a horse, Rabbit, but, well, human families do it all the time, and the pigs come from the name we’ve given it, and it really  _would_  make it easier for the Spine to walk.”

Still unsure, Rabbit let go of his brother, and walked behind him, standing there awkwardly. The Spine grasped Rabbit’s hands, and pulled him up, until the copper robot was off the ground, then the silver bot reached back with one hand, and pulled Rabbit’s legs around his own chassis to support his copper brother. With a self-satisfied grin, the Spine started walked around, reveling in the fact that he was not longer dragging his brother around everywhere he went.

"Outside adventure" he said, walking purposely towards the door, and the last thing Peter heard before they left was Rabbit saying

"…you know, this is kind of fun…" 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Peter Walter I had to build his last two robots in a hurry, though it pained him to do so. Whispering apologies to his older two robots, he scanned their electronic brains, and pulled what he could for his younger two. He didn’t want to copy their personalities; but his older two robots had already learned so much about how to live-

-about how to  _survive-_

They had had the time that his youngest two did not, and as he copied information from Rabbit to his slight little copper robot, and from the Spine to the robot he had made out of an oven, he hoped he was just pulling enough that his youngest two would be able to get out of the elephant war (relatively) unscathed, and not that they would be carbon, or blue matter, copies of the Spine and Rabbit. He had discovered, to his joy, that he  _liked_  his robotic sons having their own personalities, he would forever hate himself if he robbed his youngest of that chance.

—

The Copper Elephant War was harsh and brutal, but at least… At least it was  _short._

Still long, far  _too_  long but that was the nature of war; any length of time was too long. 

Especially when you had sons out there. 

—

When he saw them all alive and whole at the end of the war, Peter Walter I forgot all of his worries, and hugged them all, slinging his arms around them, and ignoring the grime that they were soaked in. Rabbit didn’t respond, at first, but then he slowly put his arms around his Pappy, careful not to use any of his strength. The Spine followed suit, the two robots forming a careful cage around their Pappy. It was the Spine who spoke first;

"It’s called a hug" the Spine said, "it’s love. Come on." 

Rabbit nodded, “come on!” He said to the youngest ‘bots. The Jon skipped forward, flinging his arms around his two brothers, Hatchworth following after. With his two older robots protecting him from his younger robots strength, Peter Walter reached out, and hugged his two younger bots fiercely. 

"You all did so good. I’m so  _so_ proud.” 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Taking his boys back home, Peter watched them carefully for any signs of damage, physical or otherwise.

He watched his two youngest especially close, hoping against all hope that his tampering hadn’t caused any lasting effects; he truly wanted them to become individuals, and the idea of them…  _not_  was the antithesis of everything he wanted. To his joy, however, while they only had the beginnings of their own personalities, they were just that; their  _own._  Three was flighty and whimsical, and had been fascinated by the little bits of brightness he saw even in the midst of the battlefield. Peter wondered if that was because of the void he had instead of a boiler, but then put it out of mind; in all other respects, he was doing just fine, he could do research at home. 

The robot he made out of an oven was also doing quite well, though his speech was a bit stilted, and he followed his older brother’s around asking them to please explain things to him. Rabbit did most of the talking, though the Spine did interject occasionally, seeming to consider it his job to keep an eye on, and corral, the younger robots (and Rabbit.) 

Peter frowned. His youngest would need names, eventually. They couldn’t keep just being Three and The Robot Made out of an Oven, but unlike Rabbit (who’s name had been his first word), and the Spine (named after a prominent body part), he couldn’t think of anything suitable. 

Shoving it to the side, he sat in the train car, watched his boys, and couldn’t wait to get home to Iris. 

Once at home, Peter made sure to disable the robot’s attack mechanisms. Not completely; he wanted them to be able to take care of themselves should anything ever get that desperate, but he didn’t want people to look at them, and see only weapons. He had done the Spine first, as his tesla coil was the easiest to disable; he just collapsed a few parts, then reattached the plates on the Spine’s arm that hid the thing, leaving the Spine free to wander about. 

Not to his surprise in the slightest, the Spine headed straight to the library once he was free to leave, though he was surprised when the Spine brought back a copy of an encyclopedia, and some story books, and proceeded to stay in the lab, reading stories to Three (with Rabbit’s help), and answering his Oven Robot’s questions using the encyclopedia. 

When they were all finished, Rabbit leaped up to his feet with a grin and said “now you’re gonna learn about hugging properly! And how to have adventures with the Spine!”

The Spine rolled his eyes (and Peter wondered when he had picked  _that_ little tic up!) but didn’t actually argue, instead walking over to Rabbit, and letting his older brother jump up on his back. 

"Like this" he said, and Peter marveled at how much smoother his speech had gotten, even with only two words. 

Rabbit jumped down, and said “and this is a hug! But you’re not actually supposed to do it while walking, because it makes it hard for the Spine to walk.” 

"You too" the Spine said, looking over at the copper robot. "Two younger brothers, two older brothers, we both can give hugs." 

Rabbit looked at him, all wide eyed innocence and said “but I’m not strong enough to carry either of them. Well, maybe Three.  _Maybe_. And anyway, you’re so good at it!”

The Spine stared at Rabbit for a good long while before saying “but you’re good at it too” in a confused tone that reminded Peter that, though they had just fought in a war, they were still children.

 _His_ children. 

He hoped Iris would understand. 

As Rabbit urged his two youngest brothers to gang up on the Spine (who was standing there was the patience of a saint), he took his leave. He had to go talk to her, to see her, to let her know he was okay.

As he left, Three was on the Spine’s back, and his Oven Robot was hugging the Spine around the middle while Rabbit laughed in the background. 

They’d be okay. 

 


	5. Special Hugs

In time, Three picked up the name the Jon- he had been only “Jon” at first, but he had decided he also wanted a “the” in front of his name like his second oldest brother, and his brother’s had acquiesced with a shrug (though Peter I thought that, if the Spine had had the capability, he would have been blushing). The robot made out of an oven also picked up a name; Hatchworth, from Rabbit’s exclamation that he could make a hatch’s worth of sandwiches come out of the portal in his chest.

And then there was the matter of Iris, for Iris was pregnant with twins, much to Peter I’s shock.  

His robotic sons were confused, at first, as Peter tried to explain what was happening to Iris without actually explaining to them the birds and the bees, but as soon as the words “special hug” came out of his mouth, he knew he had screwed up.

Rabbit was quite indignant, demanding to know why he had never gotten one of those special hugs, and while the Spine didn’t protest with the same sort of vehemence, he too was hurt that their father had been withholding affection from them. The Jon and Hatchworth followed their brother’s leads, and Peter had four sad and angry robots looking up at him.

But Peter didn’t want to explain it, still. It was just too awkward! Turning red, he told the Spine what section in the library to go to, and told all four ‘bots that it was a lot more complicated then just being a special kind of hug. They tried to argue, Rabbit especially, but finally the Spine sighed, and made another one of his library trips finding a book on biological reproduction, and sitting down to explain it to his brothers. 

None of them were able to look Peter in the eye after that for a good couple of days.  

 


	6. Chapter 6

The Spine didn’t learn to fear physical touch until after the second world war. 

During the first world war, touch had been a comfort; he had cherished the moments when he could hug his brothers, and know that they were there, and  _alive_. His blue matter core sparked with joy every time he made contact, and from the way they all leaned close to each other, they felt the same. He had had to carry them all to safety at one point or another, but he could feel their blue matter core humming, and he knew without a doubt that they were  _alive_ , and they were  _going to be okay_  because he was going to make sure of it, and anyway, Pappy was at home, ready to fix them. 

During the second world war, he had been separated from them, though, hearing only second-hand when they had been hurt, and waiting to hear if they were okay.

It was the waiting that was the worst.   

Robots normally weren’t supposed to have dreams, at least, that’s what The Spine had heard, but he had dreams. He wasn’t sure if it was because he had a blue matter core, or if it was just the way Peter I had made him and his brothers, but in the end the  _how_ didn’t matter, only the  _what_ , and the  _what_ was nightmares. 

Horrible nightmares that made it hard for the Spine to stay shut down, and lead to tremors in his limbs. His crew assumed it was just the Spine not having access to the same quality care he had had at home, that he just needed a quick tune up when he got home, with someone who actually knew what they were doing. He let them think that, it was easier than explaining that every night he was dreaming of his brother’s torn to pieces, and him unable to help, unable to do anything. 

Dreams where he was there with them, but his touch made them fall to pieces. 

And, unlike human dreams, his dreams didn’t go away when he woke up, instead playing in the back of his mind throughout every waking hour. 

Seeing his brother’s at the end of the war, his first response was to fling his arms around them, so he would know they were safe, but as he went to do so, the pictures flew to the front of his memory, and he froze, staying frozen even as the Jon threw himself at the Spine.

The Spine flinched away from the Jon, images of his younger brother torn to pieces pushing away the truth he was seeing with his own optics. The Jon’s photoreceptor’s widened, as he stepped away. “The Spine, are you hurt? Did I bump into something painful?” 

"No, maybe. I don’t know." The Spine said, "I need to talk to Peter I." 

"We all need to talk to  _Pappy_ " Rabbit said, emphasizing his name for Peter I’s with a roll of his photoreceptors. "I still have mud in my joints from the beginning of the war." 

"Oh" The Jon said, with a small smile. "But you’re okay otherwise, right?" 

"Yeah, don’t worry about it" the Spine said, with a pained grin. 

Maybe if he was around his brothers, and could see them whole and healthy, maybe then the pictures would go away. 


	7. Chapter 7

Pappy was dead when they got home. 

Pappy was dead- had been dead for  _three years_ - and no one had bothered to let them know. After all, they weren’t really  _people,_ even if they had been his sons. 

Iris met them at the train station, Peter IV with his older brothers. 

"I’m sorry, I’m so  _so_ sorry” she said through tears, “I tried to send you letters, but they always said here you were was classified, and they had other letters to take care of.” 

Later, after they had learned more, they mourned. But then, at the train station, nothing made sense.

—

Standing in silence at the graveyard, the three Walter ‘bots placed flowers on the grave, tears streaming down their faces. 

The Jon tried to hug the Spine and he just shook his head “don’t” he said, “just don’t. Please.” 

The Jon nodded in understanding, and turned to Rabbit instead, holding onto him tightly as Rabbit shook, rattling. The Spine tried to ignore the Jon’s hurt look, and tried to tell himself that Rabbit needed the hug more than he did, anyway.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Time moved on, and while the Walter ‘bots all tried in their own way to deal with what had happened, it had been a devastating loss. Rabbit coped by going down to the duck pond, and refusing to let anyone do anything beyond basic repairs to keep himself going; any talk about upgrades was met with an angry robot and “they’re n-n-not Pappy’s”. 

The Jon dealt with it by doing his best to pull his older brother’s out of their melancholy, either by doing something silly and ridiculous to pull a smile out of them, or by doing something stupid, and dangerous so that they’d get angry- but anything was better than sadness. At times he sunk into his own grief, but he always shook it away, and did his best to care for his family in his own ways. 

The Spine dealt with it by taking care of all of them, making sure that Rabbit got the upkeep he needed, even when all he wanted was to sit down by the cemetery, making sure that the Jon knew that they loved him, even when they were angry, and wiping his tears when he had gone too far, or really hurt himself. He wrapped himself in a cloak of sternness, his protective streak becoming who he was, rather than a part of him. He didn’t _need_ hugs, care, or  _anything_ but to keep his brother’s safe. 

And in 1950, he failed them.  

Going to grab Rabbit from the cemetery, he came across Rabbit, quiet, and unresponsive, and lying on the ground with his blue matter core torn from his chest.

Photoreceptors widening, he rushed to his brother, trembling. Rabbit looked so peaceful like that; peaceful in a way he had never looked before.

Whispers of “no” fell from the Spine’s lips, as he knelt down by his brother’s broken body, and wondered what to do. 

He didn’t know. 

There wasn’t anything.

But he couldn’t touch his brother, bad things would happen. 

Shaking his head, and trying to  _force_ the images away, the Spine gathered Rabbit in his arms gently, and  _ran_ to the house as fast as he could. 

—

They did get Rabbit’s core back, but at a price.

And the Spine had new images to add to his nightmares- though they were worse then before, because as the images flashed through his head, he could remember the way it had really happened, the smell of the earth, the way Rabbit had been unnaturally still, the weight of him in the Spine’s arms. 

And if the others realized he was acting even  _more_ aloof than before, well, they didn’t say anything; Rabbit’s near death experience, and the death’s of those who had gone to save him were weighing heavily on  _everyone’s_ minds, Rabbit included. 

—

Time moved on, and the ‘bots ended up in another war, one that they came home from in pieces. The Spine let his brothers believe that his nightmares while in Vietnam were from the torture they were suffering, not from memories, what ifs from the past, and his self-loathing at his failure to protect his brothers. 

It was easier that way. 

And still, time kept moving on. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Eventually the robots got to start playing music again, the Spine sliding into the role of “straight man” effortlessly, and if anyone noticed that sometimes Rabbit’s jabs were a little bit barbed when it came to the Spine’s role, no one said anything, instead laughing along to the antics of the robots. The Jon would go to Rabbit, or one of the humans if he needed comforting, and they all tried to pretend that everything was the way it always was.

It wasn’t, but they pretended, and they were getting quite good at pretending. 

Rabbit was down feeding the ducks one day when he realized with a jolt that his boiler was almost empty. Frowning, as he had refilled his boiler right before going down to feed the ducks, and he hadn’t been down there  _that_ long, he got up to go back to the house when he felt an odd sensation come from his chassis, and he realized to his horror that his boiler was almost empty due to a leak, and he could  _feel_  the water draining out into his chassis. 

Trying to walk, the lack of power thanks to the boiler leak tripped Rabbit up, and he collapsed on the ground as most of his physical systems shut off in order to conserve energy. He could override them, but that took a lot of work, and would drain his energy stores even faster. 

Instead he lay there, and hoped that one of his brother’s would be in wifi range soon, so he that his calls for help would go through. 

—

The Spine walked down the path to the cemetery grumpily; he had been reading, and he he had just gotten to the good part, when Wanda had asked him to go and fetch Rabbit for dinner. The problem was two-fold: he had had to stop reading his book, and they’d be sitting around the table afterwards, so he wouldn’t be able to finish it until later, much later if Wanda also got it in her head that they were going to have a game night, as she sometimes did. 

He froze, though, when he saw Rabbit laying on the ground. Eyes widening, he rushed over to his older brother, shaking.

It looked the same. It looked the  _same_ and Rabbit was too  _still_  and while Rabbit’s chest wasn’t torn open the way it had been once upon a time, the images of the past crowded out reality as the Spine fell to his knees beside his brother. 

"Oh good, ya found me" Rabbit said, cracking one eye open, "I was hoping someone would." 

The Spine didn’t respond, and Rabbit glared at his younger brother wearily. “Look, I know ya d-don’t like ta touch us, even if w-we are family-” but then he stopped. The Spine’s boiler was hardly running, the steam that left his vents in regular intervals only tiny wisps of smoke exiting at intervals that were just not  _normal._ "The Spine, y-y-you okay?" Rabbit asked, turning his head with a groan of his systems. 

For a moment, there was silence, before the Spine started whispering “I’m sorry. It happened again. My fault” over and over in a mantra, while still kneeling there on the ground, his hands hovering over Rabbit’s chassis, as though he was afraid to make contact.

"What’re ya talking about?" Rabbit said, honestly perplexed, but the Spine didn’t answer.

With a sigh, Rabbit forced an override of his systems, and carefully sat up, pulling himself into a leaning position on the Spine’s chassis, before closing his eyes, and connecting with the Spine over the wifi. 

_-Rabbit on the ground in the cemetary, quiet, and unresponsive, and lying on the ground with his blue matter core torn from his chest-_

_-his brother’s torn to pieces, and him unable to help, unable to do anything as he stared in horror-_

_-his touch making his brothers fall to pieces-_

_-Rabbit nonononoRAbbitWHYI’msssssoryRabbitsosorrywhyI should havestopped it should havebeenmmmme-_

Rabbit pulled out of the wifi in shock. “H-h-how long have you been carrying-g-g that around Spine?” he asked, horrified, but the Spine just shook his head, mumbling whimpered “nos” as he sat there, shaking. 

Rabbit carefully put his arms around the Spine, ignoring the way that Spine froze, then tried to flinch away. 

"I’m ok-kay the Spine" he whispered. "I’m okay. I’m h-here. Listen, you can hear m-my blue matter hum, r-r-right?" 

The Spine paused, then nodded slowly, images still running through his head, but over top of them was Rabbit speaking, and the hum of Rabbit’s boiler. 

"Just focus on me v-voice" Rabbit said soothingly, "it’s r-real, what you’re seeing in your head isn’t."

The Spine nodded again, letting Rabbit’s voice drown out the images, as his trembling slowed, and the steam pouring out of his vents normalized.

"It’s okay, I’m right here."

"You’re okay" the Spine repeated, taking a deep breath. He didn’t need it, but it was soothing. 

"I’m gonna need help getting t-to the Manor, though." Rabbit said, "are you going to b-be okay carrying me?" 

"Y-yeah" the Spine said. He stood up carefully, picking up Rabbit as he did so.  

"G-g-good, because I’m ab-b-bout to b-black out, b-but I’m still okay, ok-kay?" 

The Spine nodded, jerkily, and the last thing that Rabbit got over the wifi was an overwhelming sense of guilt from his younger brother. He frowned, that wasn't right, and he wanted to question it, but to his anger, he couldn’t stay awake any longer, and he powered down completely

 


	10. Chapter 10

Waking up, Rabbit ran diagnostics, frowning when he came to something new in his systems. 

"What did you guys do?" He asked, warily. He  _hated_ upgrades. 

"We had to give you a new boiler" Philip said wearily, "we tried to fix your old one, but we just  _couldn’t_.”

Rabbit’s frown deepened before he shook his head. Normally he would be up in arms about what had happened, but this time he had something else on his mind; the last thing he had gotten from the Spine before Rabbit had blacked out had been one of overwhelming guilt, and that was just  _not_ okay. 

Sitting up, he got off the table with a thump, asking “have any of you g-guys seen the Spine?”

Looking at each other, the humans shook their heads; “not since he dropped you off” Eric said with a shrug.  

"And how long ago w-was that?" 

"Maybe ten hours ago?"

Rabbit’s eyes widened, and he looked the humans over. They looked  _exhausted_.

"N-no wonder ya all look like death w-warmed over" he said, "g-get to sleep, I’m ok-kay now."

"Good" Philip said, before wandering over to a chair and collapsing into it, going to sleep. The other humans followed suit, John not even bothering to get into a chair, collapsing straight on the ground.

Rabbit ignored them, hurrying to the Hall of Wires; he didn’t know for sure if that was where the Spine was, but it was as good of a starting point as anything. Opening the door, he peeked inside, frowning. 

He didn’t  _see_  the Spine, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. 

"Qwerty, have you seen the Spine?" Rabbit asked. 

"N0." 

"And he’s not in there?" 

"W0ULD 1 L13 T0 U?" 

"…Thanks Qwerty." 

Rabbit continued to wander around the manor, hoping to find the Spine, but to no avail, running instead into the Jon, who was curled up in the library in what was jokingly known as “The Spine’s chair” because it was the only one that allowed him in all his long-limbed glory to sit comfortably. The Jon looked utterly miserable, though he cheered up some when he saw Rabbit walking through the open doorway. 

"You’re okay!" he said, smiling, but then his face fell "but the Spine isn’t." 

"I know" Rabbit said, "but that’s what brothers are for, right?" 

The Jon sniffed, “yeaaaah.” 

"So, we need to find him. Have you seen him?"

"….No."

“ _Jon_.” 

"Mayyyyybe? I thought I saw him going towards Pappy’s old lab, but then I heard you were hurt, and I wanted to make sure you’d get better, and I don’t know if that’s where he actually went or not, and when I went to go check, the door was locked."

"Well, that’s where he is, then, because the door’s not supposed to be locked, in case one of the humans need our blueprints or somethin’."

"I don’t know how to get in."

"I do. Come on, let’s go make things better."

—

The Spine had thought about going to the Hall of Wires after dropping Rabbit off with the humans, but he had changed his mind, once he remembered QWERTY. He cared for the AI, he did, but at the same time, he was not in the mood for QWERTY’s… personality. 

Instead he found himself wandering towards Pappy’s old lab. It was mostly abandoned; mostly because Pappy’s files and blueprints were still there, but no one actually used that lab for any work, leaving it empty and quiet and the perfect place for the Spine to sit down, and completely break down without his brother’s needing to know.

He sat in the dark, shaking, and trying to suppress the sobs, as the pictures that Rabbit had so diligently tried to make go away played over, and over, and over again, until the Spine forced himself into stasis, and even then, the echos remained.

—

He woke up to Rabbit sitting next to him, and rubbing soothing circles on the back of his chassis, while the Jon curled up next to him on his other side. 

The room was dark, illuminated only by the light of the three robots’ gleaming photoreceptors, something the Spine was glad of, because it meant that the sheen of oil tears was hidden, even as he stayed curled up tight, hiding his face in his knees. 

"It’s alright, you know" Rabbit said in the quiet, "if you need help, it’s  _alright_.”

"I should have been there" the Spine murmured, brokenly.

"How?" 

"I don’t know, but I should have."

"You always do your best" the Jon said, sniffing. "And then you don’t think anyone needs to care about you, but you do." 

"You don’t have to worry about me" the Spine said, wiping tears away with a shaky hand. 

"Yeah we do" the Jon said, "and anyway, we  _want_ to, and I  _know_  that Hatchworth would say the same if he were here.” 

"How long have ya b-been seeing those pictures in your head every t-time you get close ta one of us?" Rabbit asked, gently. "I t-tried to ask earlier, but you weren’t in th-the best place to reply."

The Spine stayed silent, before bowing his head in defeat, and saying “since world war II. When we were separated, I started having nightmares every time I shut down. I wanted to talk to Pappy about it, but…” His voicebox glitched, and he made a noise like a hiccup.  

"You should have  _said_  something.” 

"I didn’t want to burden you guys with my problems on top of everything else."

"Don’t be stupid." The Spine turned to look at the Jon in surprise, as he had a very serious look on his face. "We’re your brothers. It’s not a  _burden_.” 

"Do th-think that our problems are b-burdens?" Rabbit asked, just as seriously. 

"No- I would never-!" 

"Then why are yours?" 

"I’m suppose to protect you guys" he whispered, "and I couldn’t. I failed then, and I failed again when Rabbit, you-you-you" he stuttered, his vocal glitch mirroring the glitch in his memories as he once again stared vacantly at the past. 

"No." Rabbit said calmly, standing up, and moving til he was right in front of the Spine as the Jon curled his arms around the Spine protectively, "n-no, I’m right here, see?" He cupped the Spine’s face in his hands, leaning forward until they were forehead to forehead. "I’m okay, I  _am_  okay. R-right here, right now. L-look at me, okay?  _Look at me._ ”

The Spine took a deep breath, and then another. “S-sorry” he whispered, trying to look down, but Rabbit stopped him.

"You d-don’t have to deal with it all at once" Rabbit said. "We’ll w-work on it a little at a t-time, okay?"

"And you don’t have to do it alone" the Jon added, still holding tightly to the Spine. "Your my big brother and I love you lots and I want to help." 

The Spine relaxed slightly against both his brothers, their touch, and the love they were sending through the wifi helping to drown up the noises of his nightmares. “Alright” he said. “Alright. I’m sorry. Thank you.” 

"D-don’t be sorry. N-now come on, there’s icecream i-in the freezer, and n-no one awake to t-tell us not to eat it." Rabbit said, standing up straight, and striking a post that he  _thought_ was heroic, but was instead quite silly.  

"I could tell you" the Spine said, with a small grin. 

"Yeah, but you  _won’t_.” The Jon replied with a matching one, before standing up, and holding out his hand to his brother. 

The Spine took it, and stood up, careful not to actually put too much strain on the Jon; he was too heavy for the Jon to actually help up, but it was the thought that counted. The Jon refused to let go of his hand, and the Spine was grateful for it as the three robots went to get ice cream. 

He wasn’t okay, not really. 

But with the help of his brother’s, he’d get better. 

Eventually. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just some info, not important
> 
> Eric/Philip/John are the three humans I made up to be in the band before Michael, Sam and Steve. 
> 
> Philip Reed is Michael's dad; working for the Walter's is kind of a family occupation. Doesn't play any instruments, though; is just an engineer. 
> 
> Eric and John are musicians, and Philip's assistants. The humans have to be really careful about specifying if they want John or *The* Jon when they are talking about someone; the robots mostly differentiate by saying "John-with-(or-without-)an-H" to the humans, or sending pictures through the wifi to each other of which Jo(h)n they want as they speak. Of by using the "The". 
> 
> Yep, that's my headcanon. :3


End file.
